Nowadays, more then ever, it’s imperative to keep your knowledge and skills current. Yet it is the one thing we often say we don’t have time for, right?

What resources do you use to keep up? For me, I am a book-a-holic! When I do assessments, they always show my love of learning. When you walk in my home, I’m sure the first thing you notice, besides the eclectic feel, are the numerous book shelves. There is one in every room! Under sideboards, in the kitchen, even deep window sills–all are lined with books I love! This past week I gave away a huge TV so I could use the large cupboard housing it for more books! Yeah, I’m crazy about books, that’s for sure!

There are other ways to learn. What is your preferred method to keep your personal leadership skills honed?

Keeping Your Saw Sharp

Books
If you have the big bucks, it’s definitely worth the investment to buy FYI :For Your Improvement. I bought it from The Center For Creative Leadership here in Greensboro NC for use with my coaching clients. It has various competencies listed and how to improve them. Worth it!
I’m also drawn to authors Marshall Goldsmith (my favorite coach) and Patrick Lencioni (great fable books on culture and teams).

Blogs and Info Portals

I subscribe to many blogs and information portals such asHarvard Business Review. Some favorite blogs include:
GaryVaynerchuk.com
ChrisBrogan.com
Shankman.com
SocialTriggers.com
PersonalBrandingBlog.com
TanveerNaseer.com

To stimulate my thinking and get my marketing hat on, I love reading Seth Godin’s blog. You can subscribe  HERE. Seth just isn’t about marketing but provides researched insights on people. He has quite a tribe following him!

Newsletters

I hope you enjoy my newsletter! It’s much shorter than it used to be. Who has time? I know your attention span! Others provide great synopsis of topics such as CashBox Coachesnewsletter. Check this one out about future focused leaders. Another blog I enjoy that is engaging is Chip Schlotz’s “Leader Snips“. Short and sweet and great pictures!

Audio Books

Maybe at the end of the day you’re just too tired to read? Well then listen up! Many autos enable your MP3 player to play through your speakers. I run my iPod through a cassette tape after my CD player malfunctioned. $15 did the trick! The time spent in your car can be productive too! NOT TEXTING but listening to a book or webinar ( you can usually get the recording even if you weren’t able to attend). You could just listen to tunes, but if you’re serious about continuous learning, make the most of all your time!

Conferences, Seminars and Webinars

It can be expensive to attend conferences to keep your knowledge up in your field. Now there are various groups that provide seminars that hone in on specific subjects. Check out professional organizations in your area. There are also many LinkedIn groups that hold lunch and learns. My favorite is Webinars, which are offered free by some pretty powerful people ( I wouldn’t miss Patricia Wheeler and Marshall Goldsmith’s). Often you can listen at a later time.  And of course on-line learning is readily available now, too.

The Key

All this learning is well and good, but if you don’t APPLY the learning, you’re just filling your brain with more info. It has enough already to runneth over! To get a structure to make changes, take a look at the Vital Smarts (Crucial Conversation guys) and their new book, Change Anything. Just pick one vital behavior you want to change and apply their model of influence to assure you get results.

Now make it happen! You can do it.

Visit the Vital Smarts website to learn more about holding those difficult conversations and holding middle ground: www.vitalsmarts.com. Joseph Grenny of Vital Smarts  “believes the future of humanity lies in our capacity to develop mutual purpose and mutual respect across the planet—and that happens one crucial conversation at a time”.

What Joseph Greeny Says

Joseph Grenny is the author of three bestselling books, Influencer, Crucial Conversations, and Crucial Confrontations.

Several years ago in London, I hailed a taxi for the 45-minute trip from Gatwick airport to my hotel. After I informed the driver of my destination, he turned back and said, “You have an American accent. Are you American?”

“Yes,” I responded.

He then made a pretty bold generalization about the culture I came from.

It was late at night. I was a bit tired. I weighed my willingness to engage in an energetic conversation and as I considered ignoring the comment I thought, “I should be able to do this. I should be able to talk to someone with a strong opinion even if I don’t fully agree.”

As this challenge took shape in my mind, I found myself more interested in a dialogue. I had no intention of trying to change his mind, but I thought, “Here’s a guy who wants to be heard. And if there’s hope for the world it’s only if people like him and me can disagree in a respectful way.” With this moral mission in mind, I responded.

“Not too worried about your tip, I take it?” I said and smiled at his eyes in the mirror.

He broke into a broad grin, then continued, saying that he loved Americans, but again reiterated some strong generalizations.

His voice got louder and his face redder the more he spoke. I began to wonder if I should just nod and smile or if I should really engage. But I returned to my conviction that until we can find peaceful ways of disagreeing we have no hope of creating real peace in the world. At one point in what turned into a five-minute monologue I patted the back of his seat to interrupt him.

“Hey, my friend. May I ask you a question?”

He looked into the rear view mirror and paused. “Sure. This is your taxi at the moment.”

“You know, I am from the U.S. and don’t get as much contact as I’d like with people who have a whole different experience than I do. I am very interested in hearing your views. And I may agree with some of them but disagree with others. Are you interested in mine, too, or should I just hear you out?”

“Oh, no,” he practically crooned. “I want a debate!”

“Okay, then how about this. You take the first five minutes and then I get the next five. At the end, I don’t care if we both agree on everything or not, but I’m guessing we might both be a little smarter. How is that?”

He laughed heartily, turned to face me full on and said, “You are a strange man. But that is a deal.”

I don’t know that my taxi-driver friend ended up seeing the world any differently when we were done with that ride, but I did. Not that my opinions were profoundly altered, but they were tested in a way I was grateful for. Most importantly, I was encouraged to discover that dialogue was possible with someone who held strong views and who seemed initially uninterested in anything but a monologue.

This is what I’ve found to be helpful in such a controversial conversation:

1. Talk about how you’ll talk. If you’re having a one-sided conversation but would like a dialogue, and it’s not going that way, stop the conversation and come to agreement about ground rules. You can do this in a very respectful way by letting the person know you are interested in their views and want to continue the conversation. Then ask for time boundaries, or lower volume, or whatever will help you engage in a healthier way.

2. Check your motives. Be sure your interest in the conversation is sincere. If you just want a chance to demonstrate the perfection of your own opinions, expect the same from the other person. Fair is fair. But if you want dialogue, be sure you are open to new information or perspectives. If you are sincerely interested in getting smarter not just looking smart, you’ll behave in ways that will invite the same from the other person.

3. Encourage disagreement. We’ve learned a startling truth about dialogue. People are okay with you expressing even very strongly held views so long as you are equally genuine in your invitation of their disagreement. Before sharing your opinions, make a statement like, “You know, I’ve got a really strong opinion on this. I’ve thought a great deal about it and read pretty widely, and I’d like to tell you my view. But at the end, if you see holes in it, or if you have new information I don’t have, I desperately hope you’ll challenge me with it. I really want to learn from your view in any way I can.” This sincere invitation takes the fighting wind out of others’ sails. They realize they don’t have to beat you over the head with their opinions because you’re asking for them!

4. Never miss a chance to agree. Finally, don’t go for efficiency. When we agree on 50 percent of a topic and disagree on 50 percent we tend to move quickly to the disagreements because those are what interest us most. And besides, life is short, so why not start with the fight, right? Wrong! If you want worthwhile dialogue, take the time to listen for points on which you agree. Point them out. Confirm them. Put them in the “Pool of Shared Meaning.” Then—and only then—move to the areas of disagreement. When you do this you reaffirm that your goal is not to win, it’s to learn.

I hope these modest ideas are useful to you as you engage with others. I truly believe the future of humanity lies in our capacity to develop mutual purpose and mutual respect across the planet—and that happens one crucial conversation at a time.

Thank you for your interest in advancing public discourse about our most crucial issues.

Warmly,
Joseph