Gen Z?

Tiger Moms & Choppers vs. Boomers

I’ve been asked to speak to a local association on the generational gap at work. Because the subject of people is my thing, I’ve noticed all sorts of information coming my way about generations and parenting since saying yes. Do you ever find that to be true for you? I think it’s the same phenomenon as when you buy a limited edition car; suddenly you see them all over the place!  It’s like your eyeballs have a filter on them. In reality, we all have filters, but that’s another story!

So if you will indulge me, I’d like to approach this a little differently. I’d like to compare the Boomers to the upcoming generation “Z” (I made that up but it may be true). I’m big on understanding people in the context in which they grew up. And ask anyone who has ever done a team building process with me or even an interview for a job, I love to ask “what was most challenging or difficult for you growing up?” (a la Lencioni).  It says A LOT about you!

Tiger Moms and Choppers

If you haven’t heard of Tiger Mom, you’re still hibernating. This Asian Mom, (Amy Chua) , is another rendition of Extreme Parent, the total opposite of Parens heliocopterus. Nancy Gibbs, a regular gig in Time, says the main difference in the two styles of Tigers and Choppers is :

• Tigers fixate on success (defined as achievement) while Choppers are obsessed with failure or pain and preventing it at all costs.
• Tigers operate in a culture of discipline; Choppers in a culture of fear.
• Tigers see kids as “tough” and able to take the ” abuse” while Choppers see them as “precious, to be raised under glass”. They may even get mad at the teacher for a bad grade!

In Gibb’s article (Time, January 31, 2011) she quotes Edward, Duke of Windsor, as saying of Americans: “The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children”. And he knew a thing or two about indulgence!

Could the Chopper’s fear of failure actually assure it if their children never get clobbered by a challenging teacher or learn some of life’s tough lessons–the very things that “build character” and build resilience and resourcefulness for a competitive adult world out there?!

OK, to my point, I know I get off subject at times, I’m thinking about the environment that shapes us as kids, when our personalities and values are most impressed. How could this affect the future workforce, this Gen Z????

Back in MY Day!

My world was different. As a Boomer, my parents came together after a World War. It was kids, home, stationwagon and the American dream. Things moved fast after that: civil rights, man on the moon, Cold War, sexual revolution, hippies, Vietnam, weed, Television, and assassinations to mention a few in my teenage years.
Some things that contributed to being the worker bees we are (and I’ll use past tense because that’s how many Boomers feel: past tense!) :

• We had curfews, expected study times, bedtimes, household chores that taught us discipline and time management. Most of us got paddled if we broke rules. We respected authority.
• We sat around the family table for dinner and communicated face-to-face, learned manners, learned  what was an appropriate topic or not,  so later we were socially competent, good team players and especially good and effective leaders.
• We earned allowance for contributions to the home, learning independent life skills like laundry, ironing (remember irons?), yard maintenance, cooking, babysitting, lemonade stands, and neighborhood haunted houses. We learned engagement, independence and team contribution that served us in adulthood.
• When we got that allowance, we would save for things we lusted after, like a bike or tickets to a movie or clothes like our peers wore. We learned to budget, consider profit, and delay gratification. It meant something when we finally got our goal. We learned to earn promotions and recognition. Hard works pays off…right?
• It was OUR fault when our grades dropped and we faced our disappointed parents. We got grounded. Some had to stay back a grade and redo it til they got it right.  Therefore,  we also learned to be responsible adults who can be accountable at work. And very dependable and dedicated. You don’t find that kind of loyalty much any more. Boomers worked into the night.
• We had free time and we used it to climb trees, dam up creeks, build snow igloos, and watch tadoples turn into frogs. We eagerly explored our world and moved our bodies outside. We learned about cycles of nature and later cycles of business and economies. We learned to get quiet in nature so we could get in touch with our bodies, imaginations and intuition. As adults, we were creative and self aware.

Where is this going?

I am concerned about the future US talent that will fuel our economy and compete with the global world of work.

In addition to fragile financial foundations, Helicopter parents today think reading the right books or asking the right expert will somehow crack the parenting code when they just need to relax and think about the behavior they are enabling in relation to independent adult  behavior. Will it help or hinder? Will it instill a tenacity or responsibility, a drive for breakthrough, pride in work done well, global collaboration or will it evoke the whine of the entitled or the pampered?

What do you think? Deep in my heart I believe mankind always corrects itself. Am I naive? Will we be OK?